It´s first of September, which means that I have been on the road for 6 months, meeting wonderful people, growing, discovering new places, living many new experiences, focusing on my health and wellbeing (mental and physical) and most importantly getting to know myself.
We do not allow ourselves enough time in our daily busy life for such an important task. I totally understand the living on autopilot expression now. I feel like I walked and even run for many years without knowing where I was going. I had all these short term goals that were mostly superficial and in many cases materialistic – and as I managed to achieve one after the other instead of feeling fulfilled and happier i would feel more and more empty. At one point I realized that the one thing that was making me terribly unhappy was that I had no purpose in life… I just followed some sort of pre-stablished pattern that I had forced on myself – Go to school, go to university, get a job, get promoted, earn money, aim higher, get another pay rise, get recognition…. and somehow i got there. I got to a point where I was getting paid more money than I needed. That was one eye opening experience, it was probably the best thing that could have ever happened to me (although I did not see that at the time) … somehow i felt totally lost… what was my next goal? I didn’t want a promotion, I didn’t want any more money… I felt confused and even angry.. possibly with myself as I am the one that made myself believe that this was the path that I had to follow.
It got to a point where my health started to suffer… physically my body was not functioning as it should (if i had been able to listen to my myself it would have been a very clear sign…!) and I turned into this person that i didn’t even like. I was not nice to the people that were close to me and I love dearly and of course I was not nice to myself. It is amazing that i let things go to that extreme before i decided to make some changes. On the other hand it is not easy to give up stability (specially if we have grown thinking that material stability is the most important thing to have in life) and walk into the unknown…
The original motivation to go away was a sense of “i have to get away from this life” -things were not right… I did not feel good in my own skin. It has all happened in a very natural way… as if it was just meant to happen – I only needed to be open to receive it! Each step of the way has brought me closer to my purpose and closer to happiness. A type of happiness that I have not experienced before – a sense of stability (funnily enough! and this one has nothing to do with money!) , a sense of wellbeing and a sense that things are right just the way they are.
I am aware that this is only the beginning but what a wonderful place to begin from… !! A place of peace. I know that if I continue to do the right things (practice, practice, practice!) the rest will come… I am open to trusting the universe…more than I have ever been before.
I am becoming more and more clear on what I want to do for a living and it has absolutely nothing to do with being promoted and earning big money. I am giving all that up! I have found a way that brings purpose to my life and allows me to contribute to making the world a better place…even if it is person by person. I want yoga to be my life – I am still trying to figure out how exactly, but it will come… I want to bring it to the people and give them a tool that will help them understand the importance of taking a break and listening to ourselves (even if it is only 90 minutes a week during a class). For me Yoga is the journey and the destination – It has helped me find my way and it confirmed that Yoga is the way …. And for that I will be eternally grateful…to myself for being brave to follow my intuition and trying it, to my teachers for sharing their passion and knowledge with me.
I cant wait for the rest of my life!